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I filed both of these under “things you can only appreciate while middle-aged.” But despite the age difference (and his idiosyncrasies) we had some things in common.For instance, we were both making our first attempts at writing books.I wonder: What do we gain and lose from dating someone of a different generation? For one, he wore silk onesie pajamas that he meticulously ironed to have a crease down the center of the pant leg.He also practiced Buddhist chanting (à la Courtney Love).But generational differences are an easy scapegoat, especially when you’re not in the mood for introspection.

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Previously, she seriously dated someone 27 years her senior. “It’s not like I’m sitting at home searching ‘lesbian age gap’ on Pornhub or whatever.Like, relationships are hard enough without your friends warning that your younger boyfriend is “using you.” Chelsea recalled, “In my previous relationship, when I had to tell my parents that I was dating someone nearly 30 years older than me, that was obviously stressful. People would shout stuff at us on the street, or mistake her for my mother, which always totally weirded me out.”Also, there are physical realities.“When you’re dating a young hot person, you’re suddenly like fuck—I have to go to the gym,” Chelsea said. “I definitely have anxieties about my younger girlfriend outgrowing this relationship, because that’s a risk when you have an age gap.”It’s not surprising that dating a young person might highlight your insecurities about aging.“Sometimes I definitely feel old, like when my girlfriend says, ‘Who’s Fiona Apple?’ And for queer people specifically, the difference in dating people of different generations is huge, because we’ve had drastically different experiences of growing up.

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