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Technology and new ideas about sex and gender have dramatically changed the laws of love, from who pays for dinner to how long to wait to call after a date.
“It’s sort of like the Wild West out there,” says Alex Manley, dating and sex editor at Ask
You might want to settle down, maybe even get married and start a family.
But even if a longterm monogamous relationship isn’t your endgame, you’re likely sick of the wishy-washiness and tomfoolery you once let slide.
Just don’t overdo it, and remember that humor and tone don’t always come through in a text.
“When I was on Tinder, you’d match, chat for 45 minutes, and then she’d be like, ‘Let’s go on a date tomorrow,’” Manley says. It saves you time figuring out if this is the right person.” Forget having a one-night stand and never seeing the person again.
Manley is on the same page, but his reasoning is more economical: “Guys still [usually] make more money than women, so they should offer to pay, regardless of whoever asked out whom,” he says.
“There’s a sort of New Age chivalry about that.” Unfortunately, the rule seems even less clear for those in the LGBT community, says Morningside Heights resident and comedian Stephanie Foltz, who is bisexual.
“If there’s not an immediate spark, you’re wasting both of your time,” says Manley.
The advice used to be to avoid talk of politics and former relationships on early dates, but now many favor putting it all out there from the beginning.