Dating a virgin waiting for marriage
Even though I knew that they had lived together for several years before getting married, I never thought of them as being hypocritical, but rather I believed they did their best to keep me from making the same mistakes that they had made in their youth. In response to the many warnings about premarital sex from my church, parents, and elsewhere, I embraced an extreme: I restricted my dating life to a handful of guys in college and beyond, and I even decided to refrain from kissing the man who'd become my husband until our wedding day.
We were dating for almost exactly a year before we got engaged, and we were engaged for five months before we got married.
And now that it was "good," my body didn't know what to do, because it had spent so many years not letting itself get too excited around members of the opposite sex.
In fact, Vaginismus can be caused by, "Overly rigid parenting, unbalanced religious teaching (i.e."Sex is BAD"), ...
My friends were not any more helpful after the wedding than they were before the wedding. What do you say to someone who's been waiting their whole life to experience such a basic human need, and now isn't physically able to do so?What followed were the darkest few months of my life.After talking with doctors and therapists, I began to realize that decades of "saving myself" had subconsciously convinced me that sex was actually bad, something to be avoided and not thought about.It's hard to find words to address such a challenging situation.As I fought to find time on the calendar and money in the budget for daily physical therapy and weekly counseling, I found myself becoming enraged with everyone around me — my husband, my family, my friends, and most of all, God. I had worked so hard to remain a virgin for my husband, and now that I was married I was rewarded with nothing but stress and anxiety. In reaching out and sharing my story more, I am realizing that this problem (and others like it) are vastly common in the Christian church.